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Jul. 9th, 2008

A Hurl At Humor

Title: A Hurl A Humor

Author: The Great CG also know as EzraT ((in other words it was written by me))

Fandom: None, it's original.

Rating: G

Disclaimer: I do own, take with out my permission and I'll hunt you down.

Summary: Always there for you when you need me and never asking for anything in return.

A/N: Wrote in 2007

I jumped off my roof and into the sky.
Spread my arms and attempted to fly.
And when I met with concrete instead of clouds,
I closed my eyes and let out a howl.

Jun. 15th, 2008

(no subject)

Your Personality Is Like Cocaine

You're dynamic, brilliant, and alluring to those who don't know you.

Hyper and full of energy, you're usually the last one to leave a party.

Sometimes your sharp mind gets the better of you... you're a bit paranoid!

At your best: You're confident, euphoric, and feel like you're on top of the world.

What people like about being around you: You're intense and overpowering.

What people dislike about being around you: You can be arrogant... and a bit of a jerk.

How addicted people get to you: Incredibly addictive. And hanging around with you isn't cheap!


Your Ice Cream Personality:

You like to think of yourself as a fairly modest person. And it's true that you don't talk yourself up... but you're also pretty happy with who you are.

You are incredibly cautious. You rather miss out on something than make a mistake. No one would ever call you wild... but they would call you responsible.

You are a somewhat open minded person, but deep down you're fairly conservative. You don't like trying new things very much. And if you do find something new you like, you stick with it.

You tend to have a one track mind. You prefer not to multitask.

You can be a big dramatic and over the top sometimes. You are bold in every way


What Your Favorite Color Yellow Says About You:

Wise --- Aware --- Curious

Intellectual --- Logical --- Decisive

Introverted --- Focused --- Driven


You Are 64% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.

Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.

But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.

You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.


You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.

Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.

You are best known for: your touch

Your dominant state: changing


You Are Basic Panties

You are a laid back chick with a real natural beauty.

You can make unwashed hair and minimal make-up super sexy.

Men tend to notice you show the "real you" - and they appreciate it.

And while basic makes boring for some, it looks classic on you.

Jun. 11th, 2008

Mash Game: Predict Your Future at eSPIN-the-Bottle

Behold... My Future
  I will marry Clinton Harwood.  
  After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in London, England in our fabulous Mansion.  
  We will have 9 kid(s) together.  
  Our family will zoom around in a Green Spider 360.
  I will spend my days as a Psychiatrist, and live happily ever after.  
whats your future

May. 16th, 2008

Drabbles 001 and 002

Title: Drabbles 001 and 002
Author: Me, Ezra T
Fandom: Twilight Series
Pairing: 001. Bella/Edward
002. Edward/Bella, Jacob/Bella
Genre: Fan Fiction
Rating: PG 13
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
Summary: 001. Shes willing herself to forget him on this day of most days.
002. Jacob wouldn't let her go just yet.
Warnings: Slight spoilers.
Authors Note: Written in 2008.

001. Eternity

She was so happy, nervous, but happy. And with every fiber of her being she knew that she was making the right choice, that Edward was the right choice.
Edward could give her eternity.
Edward could give her the moon.
And she could live forever in the shadows (if he was there with her).

She was getting closer to him, her father walking her towards Edward. She could tell that he didn't want to be here, to do this, to give his only daughter away to a boy he didn't know, didn't like... that wasn't Jacob.
And she almost tripped at the thought.
Oh how she would miss him, but she knew that she was making the right choice. She would miss Jacob but she loved Edward. She loved him, she loved him, she loved him and she didn't want to think about how she had to remind herself of that when ever she even said Jacob's name.
And as she said her vows and looked into golden eyes (not brown) she had to think.
I love him.
I love him.
I love him.
And she was once again great full that Edward could not read her mind.
Because eternity didn't look so promising any more.


002. Hope

Jacob wouldn't give up. Not yet. Not when there was still a chance. Not when Bella hadn't said those vows yet. Like a coward he had begun to run, but halfway to nowhere he knew that he had to turn back. He could still win Bella over. He knew he could because he knew that his Bella was still in there somewhere. The Bella that loved the sun, the bella who felt so warm, so soft, so human.
He howled.
He would not lose his Bella to a leech, a cold, heartless, abomination! He would not let Bella do that to herself, to her family, to the people who truly loved her. Jacob began to run faster, not caring who saw him, not when he had a life to save. He remembers those last looks. The look in her eyes so well hidden (though she could never hide anything from him), how dark they had gotten and he could see a part of her screaming out to him. Begging him not to let her go, not to let her do this to herself, but she always covered it up, she always loved Edward enough to forget and not care. At that thought Jacob began to go slower, was he making the right choice. He knew how he felt about all of it, "But what about Bella" his mind said.
She loved Edward.
...But she loved him too.
There was still hope.
And he ran on.

May. 8th, 2008

(no subject)

Dear Wayne,

I don't know why but I've gotten the urge to call you.
To say that you should call Nicole (you know your daughter) and Brenda (the women who gave birth to your child).
Just to wish them a happy Mothers Day.
That's all.
No, that's a lie.
I also want to ask you if we could meet in a month or two.
I want to see the man that people call my father (though with no sincerity in their eyes).
I want to hear your voice, to see your eyes, to touch your face and to hold your hand.
I want to hug you.
Just to see if I feel anything for you.
Just to see if only a little bit of me could still love you.
If maybe there's a still a part of me
that thinks of you as my father.
I want to call you Dad.
Once, just to see how easily it rolls of my tounge.
I know that I've said some terrible things.
I wont take them back but I will say sorry.
Sorry that in that moment and in those past months I wanted nothing more than to hurt you.
That I hated you enough to cherish that moment your voice broke.
I want to see you so we both can mend the hurt.
To maybe start over again
So I start this letter with a 'Dear Wayne,' and maybe after the next few months it could change into a 'Dear Dad' instead.

Apr. 20th, 2008

Painted Lips and Bitter Smiles

Title: Painted Lips and Bitter Smiles
Author: Me, Ezra T
Genre: Poetry
Rating: PG 13
Disclaimer: All mine baby.


Painted lips and bitter smiles

Broken promises all worth while

Clear blue eyes and jagged nails

Chewing and breathing and waiting to exhale


Channel No. 6 and wispy hair

It's all becoming too much to bare

Hearing dreams and seeing lies

Its become more than just 'you and i'


Shattered souls and broken hearts

It's all become such a fine art

Grown people playing dolls

"Is this it, is this all?"


Whispered words and soundless cries

Wanting more than just living to die

Trying to fly yet learning to fall

And taking back my ice blue shawl

© Copyright 2006 Cookie Gestapo (FictionPress ID:428448).

Apr. 15th, 2008

(no subject)

Apr. 6th, 2008

(no subject)

Dear Friend,

Is it stupid of me to feel a little betrayed? I know that we're not as close now as we used to be... Hell to be truthful we're no where near that close. It's been two years after all since we last saw one another, and yet I still considered you amongst the best of my friends. I considered you [i]the[/i] best if I'm being completely honest. I've been looking forward to today all week. Ever since we made the arrangements. But you never came and you never called and even now I still held hope, that is until I saw your new tattoo on MySpace and just [i]new[/i] that you left me. Is it stupid of me to feel hurt knowing that you hung out with our old friend and left me behind? You didn't even have the decency to call me. To let me know. It would have showed me that at least you had cared. At least cared enough for me to call me and say 'hey, I can't come over, maybe next time?'.

Apr. 3rd, 2008

The Prestige...(posted by other people to get you to understand).

Posted By: louisackerman

Stay with me here, there's answers for those of you looking:

Upon first watching The Prestige I found the whole thing pretty predictable from minute one, but still an incredibly gripping movie. I would not have watched it a few times had I not enjoyed the story so much. But here on these boards I see confusion and argument over the end? This is a surprise to me. Even in the FAQ there is doubt and implication that Nolan intended the story to be ambiguous. No filmmaker or storyteller prepared to write a script as complex and fragmented and detailed as The Prestige would ever have the arrogance or laziness to leave it ambiguous. the old trick of leaving it to the audience to decide is a cop-out, not a pay-off. Nolan knows this. Witness his previous mystery thrillers. Do they cop-out?

I'll start at the beginning. The fact that it is so easy to guess Borden's method (that Fallon is his twin brother in disguise) must have been a problem for the Nolan brothers when they wrote the script, so Chris and Jonah employed the use of a fragmented narrative device (non-linear narrative) to distract people from the obvious nature of the plot device of the transported man. It is cinematic misdirection. It's clever in that way from a creative stand-point, even though it never really fooled me I still appreciate the mechanics of designing such a convoluted narrative trick.

The straightforward nature of this ending and this story is explained over and over again throughout the film by different characters. Are you watching closely my friends?

It never ceases to amaze me what audiences are willing to read into, finding something that is not really there. Indeed it does make for much more interesting conversations and lively debates, but as I saw with many other audience reactions to films, people don't like to see what is really there -

They want to be fooled.

The answers to this film lie in Michael Caine's speech that bookends the film.
So here I shall break it down for you in terms of The Prestige's story to explain it all definatively for those still doubting the integrity of the Telsa machine and Angier's method.

"Every magic trick (or film) consists of three parts or acts.

The first part is called "The Pledge" The magician (filmmaker) shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't." (ergo it is a film and in film ANYTHING is possible)

This the first act of the film that presents itself as oridinary turn of the century London. Two magicians locked into a competition with emotional stakes. Angier's wife DROWNS in the box because one of the Bordens (the twin that dies at the end of the movie) tied the fatal knot that sealed her fate. So far so simple.

"The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary."

The First Act turning point is when Borden produces the transported man trick and defies the simple mechanics of magic to claim that it is not a trick at all. Angier, already obsessed, sees more to it than Cutter. Cutter knows it is a trick. Angier wants something more. The turn provokes Angier into stealing the trick and making it into a sell-out act about showmanship to help inspire awe.

"But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back. That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige"."

The thrid act of the film is always the hardest part. After all the misdirection of cutting back and forth between timelines is a ploy, a trick to confuse and diorient us. To make you not see the truth although some of us have already have guessed the answer like Cutter did from the beginning.

I read on this board how people believe Tesla was conning Angier. How Angier used a spectacular light show to "sell" to Angier as real science? That Angier somehow knew Broden would sneak backstage on the 100th show and that's when Angier killed the man doubling him throughout the "trick"? No, no, no. That is the illusion. That is what you may believe when we see Angier reveal himself as alive to Borden at the prison. Indeed he never was Angier, but Lord Cadlow, a rich sophisticate slumming as a magician. But watch the ending very closely.

Cutter explains to Cadlow/Angier that he lied about what drowning feels like. That it was not like going home, it was agony. Cadlow/Angier looks around at one hundred glass boxes in this warehouse. After he is shot by the one I refer to as The Good Borden Twin (the one that is the actual Father of the girl and who loved Sarah) Cadlow/Angier explains -

"You never understood, why we did this. The audience knows the truth: the world is simple. It's miserable, solid all the way through. But if you could fool them, even for a second, then you can make them wonder, and then you... then you got to see something really special... you really don't know?... it was... it was the look on their faces..."

Angier drowned himself every single night. The surviving Angier of each performance was a copy. Everytime he used the machine he duplicated himself. The dying Cadlow/Angier was the copy of the copy of the copy and so forth. The flashback of his explantion about the first time he used the machine was not a mislead to convince Borden or to lie to him. The First Angier Copy killed the original Angier that very day. He tells Borden the truth because at this moment the two of these men have never been more honest with one another. There were no more costumes or masks or lies for them to hide behind. This was the whole truth between both of them. It's why Tesla pleaded for Angier to destroy the machine because he knew it would have consequences for him.

Angier relived his wife's death every night. A piece of him getting to re-experience how she died and why. It was about obsession. Angier knew Borden's inevitable curiosity would lead him below stage at some point during the one hundred show run. He thought of it as a kind of poetic justice regarding his double's death eventually being the frame-up for Borden. It just took one hundred tries, and one hundred deaths to get to that point.

Cadlow/Angier tells Borden that he sacrificed something. He sacrificed himself every single night. He tells him to "look." Look at the boxes in the warehouse. See how many times he died to get his revenge and to accomplish a feat that would dazzle the audiences again and again. These are the terrible things Borden speaks of him having done. A piece of the original Angier in every box. He never knew if he would be the man in the box or the prestige because he was always the copy and the new copy never was the man in the box until the next performance. It is a metaphor for the shadow of the man he once was, doomed to relive his wife's death over and over. That is the price he pays for acheiveing the greatest magic trick of all time. Those are the consequences of REAL magic.

That final scene is self explanatory. People don't want to believe in real magic, the magic of science. But it was real. Borden's transported man was the illusion and Angier found the truth of how to really accomplish it. But paid the price. The multiple birds in the cages we see that are substituted in the disappearing bird trick are symbolic for the exact same method that Angier employed with Tesla's machine. To accomplish the trick he had to kill a part of himself. The Angier that gets The Prestige is not the original. The bird trick is a metaphor for what he does for the transported man. Where Borden performs the transported man by bringing "himself" back for The Prestige without sacrificing his double or brother. Which is why Borden is really the good guy. Why he was the protagonist all along, because our sympathies with Angier were apart of the Nolan brothers magic trick.

I'll leave it to Cutter who told us all along how Borden's trick is done and then revealed at the very last frame the method that Angier employed in all its disturbing glory:

Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it because you're not really looking. You don't really want to know...

You don't really want to know the truth because it is worse than believing it is all an illusion. The horror of a man killing himself every night.

You want to be fooled....


Posted By: jsurentu (in response)

The aspects that you point out have been mentioned and discussed before on this board, but your post sums it up nicely. There are some minor points that I don't agree with, in particular this one:

- "Angier relived his wife's death every night."
It's true that every night, one Angier experienced his wife's death, but it was a different Angier every night! No Angier experienced drowning more than once, and the last Angier that is shot in the end by Borden hadn't experienced drowning at all.

But otherwise, good post, and I wholeheartedly agree with your last lines. Some additional remarks:

- "To accomplish the trick he had to kill a part of himself. The Angier that gets The Prestige is not the original."
If I understand your post correctly, you mean that neither of the two Angiers after the trick (the one that stays in the machine and the one that is transported) are the same as the Angier who stepped into the machine; because metaphorically speaking, by performing this horrible act every night, Angier loses a piece of his identity each time, until he is just a shadow of the vivacious aspiring magician he used to be (and had become Lord Caldlow again, the identity that he had been trying to flee from all those years). Just pointing this out so that other readers won't start another "who's the original and who's the clone"-discussion.

- "Where Borden performs the transported man by bringing "himself" back for The Prestige without sacrificing his double or brother."
It's remarkable however, that eventually, Borden too had to "sacrifice" his brother (or if we consider "Alfred Borden" as one collective character: sacrifice a part of himself, namely the part that lived for magic) and only after that did he get his daughter back and was he able to find happiness in a proper family life. In Borden's words: "The secret impresses no one. The trick you use it for, is everything." Whereas Angier made sacrifices just in an obsession for revenge on his rival, Borden made the ultimate sacrifice for the better and therefore becomes the winner in the story.

Mar. 27th, 2008

Almost Free ...(pt 2 in the Free series)

Title: Almost Free
Author: Me, Ezra T
Fandom: C.S.I. Miami
Pairing: Eric/Ryan (unrequited)
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot and personalities are mine.
Summary: Accepting is allowing yourself to let go, to finally begin the long trek to freedom.
Warnings: Very light hint of slash
Authors Note: Written in 2008 (today in fact).

This is the long awaited sequel to Into Something I could touch. I've decided to write these by using the verses to the song. So I'm happy to say that there may be two or so more installments to this, but I am sad to say that it may not end with a happily ever after fairytale ending for our boys.


I`ve been walking around all day, laughing
Think I`d be better off without you here
And I bet you are sweet and hard to get over
So I`ll cry and people will stop and stare
Now thats ok, let them stop and stare...
'Cus I am fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free...

Free - Maria Mena

Almost Free

When Ryan woke this morning it was with a feeling of lightness, as if parts and pieces of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. And when he looked into the mirror he was met with swollen eyes and an understanding smile. He was almost there. Today was a new day and he knew that the confrontation that he had had with Eric just hours earlier had some how freed him of those restraints that he had placed upon himself. Somehow telling Eric what he had had helped him to let Eric go a little, he was slowly but surly getting his heart back and putting himself back together again.

When he got to work he could tell people had noticed that something was different with him. He walked with a purpose, his head was held high and his back was straight. There was no more hunching over, no more trying to hide from the people he should very well be getting along with. He smiled, he talked, he laughed. Ryan Wolfe was on the verge of becoming a new man, no one knew why but they accepted it. This was a Ryan that they could grow to like. Ryan didn't go out of his way to avoid Eric, the old Ryan, the Ryan from the night before probably would have but not this Ryan. He let fate run it's course and when he bumped into Eric he knew his eyes spoke a message. They said he was better off with out him, that he would be better off with out him, and when he saw that Eric had got the message Ryan just smiled a little smile and kept on walking. He ignored the ache in his chest and the slight stinging in his eyes.

Ryan knew from the very beginning that if he was ever to get over Eric Delko then it would take drastic actions. After all, Eric wasn't someone that people could just get over. Eric had a way of coming off as sweet and kind while being sexy and mouth watering. Ryan knew from the beginning that Eric Delko would be a hard man to get over and even after feeling like a new man it still hurt to see Him and he felt foolish for thinking he was strong enough to endure it. After all he had only just told Eric how he had felt.

He couldn't wait to clock out. To leave Eric and work behind. He decided to walk home instead of drive and just decided to take a cab to work in the morning. He thought as he walked. He thought of all the missed chances. Of all the things that both his and Eric's pride has lost them. He imagined all the kisses and the small touches. He pretended to see the secret looks and hear those whispered words. He stopped to cry because it all was so over whelming. he thought of what he was losing and what he was giving up and he didn't care that he was being stared at. He had to do this for himself. He needed to let go of what ever was still tying him to Eric, to a man who had never shared his feelings.

When Ryan finally got home it was late. He didn't even bother to shed his clothes before he fell into the bed. He was so exhausted, both mentally and emotionally. He curled into himself, brang his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He put his head to his knees and cried for what felt like the hundredth time. He was hopeless. He would forever be hopeless when it came to his feelings. His heart would forever win over his mind, and he accepted that now. He wasn't perfect. His OCD, funny as it seemed, ensured that and his non existent social skills, which seemed to have gotten him in this predicament in the first place, only seemed to drive the nail in deeper. He accepted that as well. And by accepting himself for what he was, for accepting all of this for what it was he somehow felt just a little bit freer. And as salty as his tears tasted he knew they couldn't spill for forever and that was comforting because that meant he wouldn't cry for Eric forever. He was almost free.

-End Part 2-

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