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Mar. 25th, 2009

No Handlebars

Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
and I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handle bars
No handlebars

Flobots - Handlebars

You don't realize it then, but that feeling that you felt as you lifted your hands up and balanced your bike, would become addicting. It would be a feeling that you would chase after for the rest of your life. More often than not, falling short of grasping it again.
But in that moment. In that one glorious moment, where you rode your bike with no handle bars you felt wonderful. Powerful. In complete control. You in that moment knew your life was in your hands and for that split second you were invincible.
The world was at your fingertips and the sky but mere centimeters from your grasp.
You would sweat, and bleed, and hurt to feel that way again.
Stomp, and squish on anyone in your path.
You would become cold, and harsh. Void of most emotions but greed and pride.
You would become powerful just as you hoped in the end.
But you too would be weak.
You did not know it then but as you raised your hands into the air, and with a gap toothed smile to your father, you would begin your quest on becoming a monster.
Still a child, and yet you would be on the path to your end.

Dec. 17th, 2008

(no subject)

I need something to do. Something to keep me occupied. I need a dream. Something to hold on to, something to keep me here and sane. There's this heart I hide on my sleeve, drawn into my wrist, embedded into my skin. There's this vein I carve into to try and bleed myself out. I do it to live. I do it feel. I do it because I can and I just need something to do.

I type because it's here, and write because it's the clostet thing to telling the truth. I speak and I lie. I sing and I lie. You look at my face and you see a lie. Only writing is the truth, the only truth I know.

Watching tv is a past time, something I'm ashamed of. I want to do more. I need to do more. I want run, and to dance and to learn. I want to be better than anyone else ever was in my framily but I know that its not possible. So I do what it is I do and that's be lazy all the time. It's what I'm good so why change. Why stop?

Oct. 16th, 2008

(no subject)

Just found this coolio site for Harry Potter Fan Fiction and am currently applying for a certin section lol.
Just thought I would pot this since they said something about validation.
This should be proof enough for them.
They can also contact me at my other email ---> cookie_gestapo@yahoo.com
= ]

Sep. 19th, 2008

(no subject)

title here

Sep. 18th, 2008

The Lie

It was easy to dream. Easy to make herself believe that the life she was living was her own. That the people she loved loved her back, wanted her as she wanted them. As she needed them. It was so easy to dream the life of another, so easy to super impose herself in their place. It was almost a easy as smiling, as breathing, as living. Her life could never be simple, not while he lived the good life. The fake life. And it was fake. Every smile that shined, every tear that glistened and every word spoken.


As she looked into their eyes and smiled that bright smile she knew that they believed. How easy it was to make them believe. How easy it was to pretend to be who she was. Because she wasn't and that made it all the better. The innocence that surrounded her was a well practiced guise. The light that beckoned so many to her was truly a shadow. She glittered just like fools gold and all the greedy picked at her and she loved it. 'Let them believe' she thought to herself, 'Their pain was their own'.


She pasted a smile onto her face, opened her arms for their warm embrace and she cried. Her heart cried out, it begged for them to see that she was a liar. That she was not nice or innocent or sweet. It begged for them to see the evil in her soul and begged them to realize, to not be so easily fooled. This role that had once been so fun to play no longer was a role. She lost herself and she waited for someone to find her again. To save her. Because the lie slipped through her lips with such ease, venom coated in honey. She was poison and so much of her loved it while so little wished that it was different. She was at war with her self and it killed her heart a little more each day to see the evil in her win.


If you looked closely at her face you would be able to read the lies before they left her lips. But you like the lies. They make you feel o good about yourself, so worthy. So you accept the evil in her all the while pretending that it was the good. It' so easy to believe the innocence she proclaims because you want to. So easy to let her lose herself because the more she loses the more she become someone like you. Someone you want, someone you need. You ache for the lie and she gives into your addiction. You pretend to not see the pain in her heart and the blackness of her soul. You pretend because you want to, because you need to, because you have to. Because if she ever found herself then she would lose you.

Jul. 9th, 2008

just me playing around

Think of this song as Bella contemplating her being bitten. Edward in the book tells her to think about it, if she truly wanted it, if she thought of all that she would have to give up if she truly wanted to get bitten by him...So think of this as her thinking about what she will lose and _who_ she will lose. Just picture her thinking of everything really.
All of this is seen in Bella's P.O.V.


[Verse 1]
I was stained, with a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right I just didn't know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight

((Line 1: Right off the bat you get the sense that Bella doesn't feel as if she belongs. Back home she hated the sun, here in Forks she hates the rain. She doesn't fit in.
Line 2: Edward showed her a whole new world, brang meaning to her life.
Line 3-4: She knew what was expected of her but when she met Edward her world turned upside down and suddenly she had to reevaluate herself. What she would have never given notice to before now seemed important. In loving him she chose to accept a different world with new rules. She already accepted everything about him and what he was but everything was different and now she felt as if at some points she was looking at the world with sunglasses on and at other points she saw everything clearly.))


And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight

((Line 1: If and when she is bitten, obviously her view of the sky will be forever changed, no longer being able to go out in the sun and all. Living in the shadows and behind clouds and all that.
Line 2: She loves Jacob, yes, but she chose Edward and in the end no matter how hard it will be to do so she will have to give up (on) Jacob...all of him because if she is bitten he will become her mortal enemy.
Line 3-4: Think of this as a metaphor. No matter what she'll always love Edward and her world will forever consist of just Edward and all that comes with him, so people may try and change her mind of him but she'll never be swayed and if becoming a vampire means being that much closer to him than so be it. See, Jacob is her sun(sunset) and Edward is her moon(darkness, (strange as it is) and she'll always be stuck in between the two. That's her twilight and their is no going back.))


[Verse 2]
Never cared never wanted
Never sought to see what flaunted
So on purpose so in my face Couldn't see beyond my own place
And it was so easy not to behold what I could hold
But you taught me I could change Whatever came within these shallow days

((Line 1-4: You get the feeling that Bella just stopped caring at some point in her life, stopped caring to see what was right in front of her (mainly Jacobs love for her). She also stopped caring about who she hurt during this specific period of time. She saw no further than herself.
Line 5: This point in a way is about Jacob and Edward. They both were the only ones able to bring her out of her slump, make her feel like a better person and some what sane and normal person.))


As the sun shines through it pushes away and pushes ahead
It fills the warmth of blue and leaves a chill instead and
I didn't know that I could be so blind to all that is so real
But as illusion dies I see there is so much to be revealed

((Line 1-4: All this is about Jacob, her sun (though he is a wolf). He did bring warmth into her life during that period when Edward was gone but in the end that was not enough. When he left she was alone all over again. Suddenly she was thinking of Edward again and she was cold. He (Jacob that is) was her respite, he was an illusion, something that was easy to fall into when the drug (Edward) was gone. Jacob consisted of an imaginary world that no matter how much she cared about him, could never live and the moment Edward comes back that was all proven true. Edward is real, he can show her the way. Jacob, he is her illusion a unattainable promise that she doesn't care to reach.))

gattaca quotes

It was the last time we swam together and out into the open sea
like always knowing each stroke to the horizon was one that we would have to make back to the shore
but something was very diffrent about that day
every time Antone tried to pull away he found me right beside him
until finally the impossible happend,

"vincent, vincent!"

it was the one moment in our libves that my brother was not as strong as he believed and i was not as weak
it was the moment that made everything else possible


I belonged to a new underclass
no longer determined by social status or the color of your skin
we now have discrimination down to a science


I was never more certin with how far away i was from my goal
then when i was standing right beside it


for all my brave talk i knew it was just that
no matter how much i trained or how much i studied
the best test score in the world wasnt going to matter unless i had the blood test to go with it


for the gentecially superior sucess is easier to obtain
but is by no means garinteed
after all...there is no gene for fait


"You want to know how i did it?
this is how i did it antone.
i never saved anything for the swim back."


"you couldnt see could you?
that night we crossed the street.
you crossed any way."


"i dont know how to thank you."

"No no. i got the better end of the bargin.
I only lent you my body.
You lent me your dream."


"I never told you about my son have i?
he's a big fan of yours"

"just remember i was as good as any and better than most"


for someone who was never ment for this world i must confes
...i'm having a hard time leaving it
of course they say every atom in our body was once part of a star.
maybe i'm not leaving, maybe i'm going home.

good quotes

On Freedom of Speech

If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.
George Washington
First President of the USA

The first principle of a free society is an untrammeled flow of words in an open forum.
Adlai E. Stevenson
American Lawyer, Politician

On Writing

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.
Albert Einstein
German-born American Physicist

All the best stories in the world are but one story in reality -- the story of escape. It is the only thing which interests us all and at all times, how to escape.
Arthur Christopher Benson
British Author

The reason that fiction is more interesting than any other form of literature, to those who really like to study people, is that in fiction the author can really tell the truth without humiliating himself.
Eleanor Roosevelt
American First Lady, Columnist

The writer who neglects punctuation, or mispunctuates, is liable to be misunderstood for the want of merely a comma, it often occurs that an axiom appears a paradox, or that a sarcasm is converted into a sermonoid.
Edgar Allan
American Writer

On Homosexuality

There is no such thing as a HOMOSEXUAL or a heterosexual person. There are only homo -- or heterosexual acts. Most people are a mixture of impulses if not practices.
Gore Vidal
American Novelist, Critic

All men are HOMOSEXUAL, some turn straight. It must be very odd to be a straight man because your sexuality is hopelessly defensive. It's like an ideal of racial purity.
Derek Jarman
British Filmmaker, Artist, Author

On Censorship

One of the curious things about CENSORSHIP is that no one seems to want it for himself. We want CENSORSHIP to protect someone else: the young, the unstable, the suggestible, the stupid. I have never heard of anyone who wanted a film banned because otherwise he might see it and be harmed.
Edgar Dale

On People

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent full of doubt.
Bertrand Russell
British Philosopher, Mathematician, Essayist

A large section of the intelligentsia seems wholly devoid of intelligence.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
British Author


To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Elbert Hubbard
American philosopher and writer

In Germany, they first came for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Catholic. Then they came for me - and by that time there was nobody left to speak up
Martin Niemöller

I belonged to a new underclass. No longer determined by social status or the color of your skin. No... We now had discrimination down to a science.
Ethan Hawke as Vincent in Gattaca

For the gentecially superior sucess is easier to obtain but is by no means Guaranteed. After all, there is no gene for fait.
Ethan Hawke as Vincent in Gattaca

Green Eyes

Green Eyes


How can you all sit there? You don't even look at the empty seat in the middle of the class.
And oh what a strange site it is.
Do you see it?
Her ghost appears in the seat her arms so bloody and grostequie.
No one even blinks an eye.
Its been happening since she died.


She is there today, earlier then anyone else.
I'm suprised to see her as she is me.
She blinks her hollow green eyes at me and smiles a bloody smile.

"You can see me."

It's not a question and I do.
I see all of her. All of her so clearly. Every scar, cut, bruise.
Every drop of blood.
All of her.
My mouth goes dry and I blink, squezze my eyes shut but I am broken out of my trance by a touch on my shoulder.
I jump and turn to look in the brown eyes of my friend Jamie.
Brown, not green.
And I let out a sigh.

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

And out the corner of my eye I see the bloody girls gone and where the pool of blood once was is nothing but clean white tiles.
I msile shakily and laugh,

"Yeah...a ghost."

My voice tremors but she miles any ways.
We're both not fooled.


I believe she's finally gone.
She hasn't sat in her seat in ages.
Class starts and we let out a collective sigh.
Again she's not here.


Three weeks and not a spec of blood.
The class is loud with chatter but we all soon quiet at the sight of our teacher.
...There is a girl with her.

"Now if only I could get you to do that all the time."

Our teacher jokes.
I can understand why the atmosphere is suddenly so tense.
We all know where the new girl hiding will sit.
The teacher clears her voice.

"Well class," our teacher begins "this is Sinoa Bolshevik." and she moves away.

The girl is tall and beautiful.
She must have been crouching in order to have hid behind our teacher.
She has what looks to be fiery red hair, milky skin with freckles and...green eyes.
Her eyes meet mine.
I reconize those eyes and suddenly I see the bloody girl in her place.
I let out a squeek and the class turns twords me, but I do not really notice as I continue to stare at the girl.
I blink and it's Sinoa again.
She's no longer grinning.


It goes on for days, all in random places, all at random times.
I'll see Sinoa at the store and when I smile at her she would grin, like she knew.
I would see her at school and then she would suddenly dissapear and then just as suddenly reappear.
Right infront of me.

"Apparently," my friends would say "You just didn't see her."

This girl.
This Sinoa.
She is driving me crzy and everyone can see it.


A Hurl At Humor

Title: A Hurl A Humor

Author: The Great CG also know as EzraT ((in other words it was written by me))

Fandom: None, it's original.

Rating: G

Disclaimer: I do own, take with out my permission and I'll hunt you down.

Summary: Always there for you when you need me and never asking for anything in return.

A/N: Wrote in 2007

I jumped off my roof and into the sky.
Spread my arms and attempted to fly.
And when I met with concrete instead of clouds,
I closed my eyes and let out a howl.

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